she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
