and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
