can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
