so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize