Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
