Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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