What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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