I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
