I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
there is another microwave in the elevator.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
