Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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