im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
