Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
