I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
