im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
