Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
