I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
