Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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