And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
