Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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