She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Randomize
