We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
