feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
