I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
