is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
