you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
