Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
