i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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