fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
