oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
