She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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