I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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