I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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