i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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