I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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