So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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