just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
