Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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