i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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