I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this is an emotional support booty call
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
