Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
