I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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