Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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