True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
