party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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