I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize