He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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