so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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