make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
