I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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