I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
