She announced her abortion via fbk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
