"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
