i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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