glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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