sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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