Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're too hungover to prance.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
