Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
