You're so nebulous sometimes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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