He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
